Because I'm bored:

There's a guy in my philosophy class named Johan.  He sits in the front, but never really says anything.  (Neither do I, though.)  I've always found that fairly amusing, but today was... er... moreso.  I quote his friend who sits behind him:

"JOHAN PUSHES PEOPLE INTO STICKER PATCHES!  HE'S GOING TO GROW UP TO BE A SERIAL KILLER!"

I nearly died.  And no one knew why.